Love's killer

by Riley   Jan 7, 2008


Goodbye my fallen dreams.
Hello my choking heart.
You dangled me off this cliff
And sent me to the start.

You smothered my aching heart
When it strived to beat.
You drowned it with your lies
And forced it to retreat.

It's your fault it's gone.
Shriveled and shrunken back.
It's your fault my heart is gone
And cold and turned to black.

You pricked me once, little by little.
And my blood began to run.
And I was only an empty shell,
By the time that it was done.

You smeared my feelings across your wall
And stared at it point-blank.
I never got those feelings back,
And for that, I have you to thank.

You ripped me up, inside out
And now I think I'm dying.
My draining blood, and bloodshot eyes
All too tired from trying.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    "Goodbye my fallen dreams.
    Hello my choking heart."
    ^^ Comma after " dreams, "

    You did use the word heart quite a bit, but I don't really think it would bother anyone but me, lol. I like repition, but only of a full line or more. So yeah, it's probably just me.

    " You pricked me once, little by little.
    And my blood began to run.
    And I was only an empty shell,
    By the time that it was done.

    You smeared my feelings across your wall
    And stared at it point-blank.
    I never got those feelings back,
    And for that, I have you to thank."

    ^^ Amazing stanzas, darling.
    I would pick one as my favorite, but I love them both. xD

    Keep it up, wonderful job.

    5.5

  • 16 years ago

    by Katy

    Very good.