I did like this poem, but I didn't like the " He/ Me/ Our" I didn't mind the "oh" and so on, but the others kind of set the flow off. The flow would have still been off a tad bit, eh. But, it'd be easier like that.

But, I must say I did like how you had the whole " He, Me, Our, Mine " Thing going on,m aybe you could rearrange the rest of the words to make it flow better, eh.

The only problem here was the flow, you had emotion and everything else a poem needs.

Keep it up.

Beautiful, I love how you use, oh, him and me at the beginning of each phrase, very creative and it totaly works :) Very emotional and relateable :)

5/5

I must agree with the first comment, I didn't really like the He/Me/Our.. then He/Oh/His or something.. I really thought that was a distraction almost, and I didn't think it was really needed..you probably could have worded the lines differently and incorported the he in there. I don't know. Anyways, it's a beautiful write straight from the heart. Great work. 5/5.