My Best Friend

My Best Friend

On bright sunny days like today I wish you were still here. Laughing, joking, playing in the sun. In my dreams, sometimes, you're there. I wake up in a cold sweat looking for you. I know you'll never be home though. You'll never be in my life again.

You left without a trace; I can't believe you're gone. All this hurt I feel inside, so immense, so painful, I wish it would go. You're fading away, your smile, your face, your laugh. Please come back, I can't go on without you. I visit you sometimes but it's not the same. I miss our chats, our long nights sitting in silence. I hear songs on the radio or a CD that remind me of you, I cry, wish u were there.

You told me that whenever I was scared to look for the brightest star, that night you left I remember looking up, wishing you were with me, comforting me, making me laugh. I had no idea you had left. I sometimes ask myself if I could have done something differently, if I had called more, would things be different? Would you still be here?

I sit alone sometimes, talking to you, trying to picture your face. I blame those that caused you pain, the ones u got away from, I know u had no choice, that's what hurts the most. I wish you had had the courage to speak to me, to anyone. I pray you're in a happier place than you were, I know you wouldn't have caused me so much pain without good reason.

I know you're watching over me, protecting me and keeping me safe. You loved me and I you, you were my best friend. You were and still are my one best friend and I will never forget you. I am happier now; things are only starting to get better. You would have been 29 next week and instead of being upset all day and crying all day I plan to celebrate it. Remember what it used to be like and how I felt when we were together. Remember the happier times.

You'd be so proud of everything I have achieved in the last 5 years; I just wish you were here to celebrate my joy. I love you Stephen, always will. You know that and I know you do, because you're always with me. Heaven is a place held within the hearts of those that loved you the most. And you will always be in my heart.