Torn Apart

by Vanessa   Jan 12, 2008


Swirling, spiraling dark souls,
claw at my arms with razor sharp nails.
My mind clouds as they inject their poison,
diluting this unforgiving pain inside me.

I sense myself falling though darkened abyss.
I can hear only slight whispers, and faint laughter,
But I can feel nothing for I am numb inside and out.
Darkness, sinister darkness, blinds me, completely.

I have never feared being alone, as I do now.
Never have I prayed so hard for forgiveness.
Not once Have I fought this hard for life,
or struggled pointlessly for one more breath.

It is ironic that only as I begin to die,
That I have just found the desire to Live.
Spiraling, Swirling dark souls,
Grab at me, slowly tearing me apart.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Shinobi

    This poem has a very hard meaning. It shows what the difficulties of life can do to a lonley spirit. I liked the imagary parts, and the rhymes and choosing of words were ok. You didn't use rhymes and that's a shame. I'm sure that with rhymes it would flow better.
    Nice work 4/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Unamed

    It was good...but i didn't sence a really strong amotion to it....good job tho
    ***aLy***

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Very deep and verry powerful, you got the talent and i see it in your writes and i realy love the ending 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Cheshire Kat

    "It is ironic that only as I begin to die,
    That I have just found the desire to Live.
    Spiraling, Swirling dark souls,
    Grab at me, slowly tearing me apart."

    This is my favorite line. It captures what I think every human goes through when they think about death. The fact that you managed to capture this amazes me and I hope I can be just as observant as you.

  • 16 years ago

    by Sole

    Really enjoyed this poem. The flow was great and the emotion strong. Very good imagery, a great read and leaves a sense of something being there. Creative.

    Sole.