Comments : Guilt

  • 16 years ago

    by Alexandra Jade Brewer

    That was... BRILLIANT! I love your flow, and your message.
    I loved how you kept questioning the person throughout the poem, and how you turned from hate to feeling guilty to begging forgiveness. It made the whole thing so powerful!
    This was amazing truly perfect. I just had to keep reading I was so drawn in

  • 16 years ago

    by FlawlesslyTarnished

    A very amazing poem. and written so nicely.
    the flow was almost flawless and your
    imagery was amazing; the image you
    created, as well as the emotion was simply. .
    outstanding. And the ending was very
    powerful. a great write. 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Erica

    Amazing,nicely written. i really enjoyed reading this poem. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Not

    I love this poem well written,its amazing
    it truly is a wonderful poem!...=)

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    I like one thing a lot about this poem, the fact that you managed to express honest emotions and create very sorrowful tone in whole piece is really great.
    Anyway I must suggest, of course just my opinion, that this poem could be better with some unique metaphors, but all in all I really love that you described your feelings on good yet very simple way. Very original poem, I enjoy in it.

  • 16 years ago

    by Confined

    Awsom =D avent read a poem like this n ages but it definately stood out from the rest of them =)

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "Because trust me this is something,
    I never would've planned?"
    -You don't need a question mark here. You aren't questioning anything anymore. Your basically stating, not questioning.

    "But is their some cruel meaning
    for you putting trough strain."

    -I think you need to put a question mark here, you are questioning something, not stating a fact.

    "I can't remember how it happened?
    but I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear.
    Right now I just feel horrid?
    Probably made that crystal clear."

    -Here is another example of places where you don't need question marks, however for some reason you put them in there. For example.. "I can't remember how it happened?" You put a question mark. Why? Yes, you can't remember how it happened. But, that's a fact. "You can't remember how it happened." That is probably how you want to put it. That question mark questioned me as a reader, as to why you would put it there. It's almost like you were questioning yourself if that was a good line or not, or if you needed a question mark or not. That totally confused me. However, if you used a question mark you'd be asking someone else. Like. youd say something like.. "Do you remember how it happened?"
    That's a question. You're wondering something that happened and how it ended up the way it did.

    "Without you here in my life,
    my world is in reverse.
    You might not want to know this,
    but my sanity, can't get any worse."
    -For some reason this stanza really stood out to me the most. I liked the rhyming. Yeah, maybe it was a little forced, but overall I just really liked this stanza.

    Overall, a really nice message again. You feel guilty. You want to take back all that you once did. However, you need to work on your puncuation. You confused me with your question marks that didn't need to be there. 5/5.