Memories and Mistakes

I think about the future,
I ponder on my past,
Denying all good feelings, 'cause I know that they don't last.

I don't want your tomorrows,
I want my yesterdays,
I yearn to find a pleasure that will never fade away.

I recall my many exes,
I dream of those to be,
I wonder if there's anyone, just anyone, for me.

I remember what they told me,
Repeat those three small words,
Whisper soft, "I love you," The lie I've always heard.

I think of all the choices,
I ponder the mistakes,
I wonder if I'm walking down the path I'm meant to take.

I don't want your forgiveness,
But the chances I've denied,
I yearn to have experienced the things I've never tried.

I recall my family's faces,
I dream of those to come,
I ask if where I'm going is reflecting where I'm from.

I think of empty questions,
I wonder what's the cure.
I tell myself I want this but my heart just isn't sure.

Thinking brings solutions,
But not in this wrong world,
All it brings is questions to this lost and lonely girl...