The Only Moment We Were Alone

by PygmyPuff   Jan 16, 2008


After all have gone
Beneath the wooden staircase
Their sounds disappear.

Alone on your bed
When I look into your eyes
I remember why.

I kiss you again,
And fall deep into your heart;
Afraid just to breathe.

The way you love me
And the way you look at me
Only when we are alone.

I tried to follow a 5-7 5-7 5-7 5-7-7 form, and unintentionally made it 5-7-5 5-7-5 5-7-5 5-7-7. Opps

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Jessica

    Awhh, i loved this. It was sweet and innocent and so full of emotion. I loved how it was sort of mysterious as well instead of you just saying everything outright. The assonance and consanance you use in here really adds to the romantic feel of the poem. nicely donee. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by you will never forget me

    Short, but sweet..and lots of emotion..great write! =]

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    Wow! So passionate and intense write, well done! You managed to express emotions on so original, interesting way. Very creative piece and atmosphere that you created in it is fantastic, I enjoyed in every line.

  • 16 years ago

    by Pete

    Really nicely written poem, filled with wonderful emotion. It's a shame that you didn't manage to quite squeeze it to the planned structure although I think the structure you have set here is still a nice one.
    The flow is steady and smooth throughout.

    Nice choice of words int his piece, you say everything you need to say without actually having to state it.

    Overall : it's a very nice poem to read, filled with well thought out lines and wonderful emotion.

    ~Pete.

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow...
    I love this. You always menage to express emotions with breathtakingly beautiful simplicity and this poem is not an exception. Truly beautiful piece, very touching.
    Greatly done!

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