Picturing myself in a casket,
still with no movement the pain lasted.
The worse it became the more I'd try,
so I took this chance and had to die.
I lost my focus and in my mind state,
I pulled the trigger and made my fate.
A little pain as away I wilted,
my mind was finally clear as my body shifted.
I thought about this long and hard in my bed,
I filled with lies my precious head.
Gave up real quick in my mind,
as my life over to the devil I signed.
One single tear fell so I didn't cry,
one big breathe and one little sigh.
My self control I tried to toughen,
but I'd rather be lying here with nothin.
You s houldn't have thought I was playin,
maybe listen to what I was sayin.
Maybe a reason was all my committed sin,
or maybe the torment I knew would soon come again.
I'm having to no longer be slowly killed,
and I'm really sorry that my blood I spilled.
Call my decision a little bit crazy,
but look I did something,
does that still make me lazy?
Soon my body will smell like mildu,
sorry if only I really knew.
We are no lopnger fightin,
as if the mood was enlightened.
To my heart and mind I finally listened,
and in the moonlight the barrel of the gun glistened.
Sorrow in your lives I've possibly filled,
but I didn't live so you won't be billed.
A reason could've been the fact of living like a bum, o
r making mistakes that made me feel numb.
Please don't try to take the blame,
that's all i'll ever gain.
No secrets now and everything's too late,
I guess I didn't really need a soul mate.
From this I want no pain,
and don't remember it as if it were fame.
Possibly to many more then just some,
they thought what I did in my life was dumb.
The demons took me on my last date,
as we ended it Satan himself let me through his gate.
I'm seriously happy and I promise it's the truth and not a lie,
and I'm sorry I didn't say I love you and good-bye.
Always wearing a smile as I felt down in the dumps and blue,
trying not to let it show you that it wasn't true.
I was too gone and way out of time,
sorry it was out and my body you had to find.
Maybe this was all in my dreams,
and if so should I stay away from the light that beams?
I'm still motionlessly lying here,
I'm still alive and I feel in my eye a tear.
Maybe the gun was just way too hard,
so I open my eyes and forever I'm scarred.
This time I feel myself start crying,
maybe it's because ending my life is what I was trying.
