Short yet so effective. Interesting piece, very powerful. You did good job with rhymes and created great flow. The fact that you managed to say so much in such short piece is amazing. Truly greatly written poem.
Keep up!

I don't rhyming too much in this poem cause it seems very forced and typical, that is just my opinion. Other than that you created truly good, intense atmosphere with really short poem and that is impressing, you also managed to make absolutely powerful rhythm here. I like the first line, it pulled me in to the poem and you expressed emotions greatly, well done.