Thats sad. i like the way the poem flowed. i think you should write more your really good at it 5/5 !props!

This was a much stronger piece, in that you presented the ideas and emotions coherently with the appropriate poetic techniques. Again, it's obvious this is another "you and me" type of poem, although you've attempted it better than the latter piece I read. There is more control over the words, however you should attempt to apply the same suggestion I gave in my earlier comments to this poem.

"For reasons so unknown, not even the cops know." - This line is very weak, and it seems as though you forced another rhyme to fit with the rhythm of the poem. Unfortunately I think this sentence actually ruins the flow, so again, I'd suggest trying to refrain from the rhyme and keeping the line simple.

Overall, a well written poem. Well done :)

Oh my. this took my breath away! i could feel every moment of sadness with every word. especially the last stanza.

5/5