by SH3S fiNAllY H3R3 l0V3 U N3NA Jan 20, 2008
category :
Sadness, depression /
other
I'd give anything in the world, |
I dont really care of the love of my parents havent seen my dad in six years mom well i dont care, nice poem though i enjoyed how it slowly unraveled 4/5 plz do my latest two |
Very sad. |
by Fluffy
The poem started off well, although you seemed lose track of the flow as you happened to extend the length of your lines. You present emotion in the typical "you and me" style poem structure - which is fine; but you must try and ensure that you don't disturb the rhythm, which eventually taints the reading quality of the poem. |
Aww i know what you mean with the whole dad thing. 5/5 !props! |