I Lost Him

How do I explain this situation?
You weren't just my love
You were my infatuation

How do I tell you what we said?
I'm still thinking
Replaying conversations in my head

How do I promise you that I won't cry?
He's out of my life
I could easily die

I can't really comprehend this whole problem in which I'm dealing
It's all getting so old
These wounds just aren't healing

Why won't this stupid anger go away?
Why did I take it out on him?
He didn't deserve to be treated that way

Why did the love we had go away?
It was supposed to last forever
Why couldn't it stay?

I know it is my fault so I shouldn't be sad
But I guess it hasn't hit me yet
Guess I never thought it could hurt this bad

Through my mirror in which everything seems okay
I throw my head back
And move on with the day

I'll pretend like this is such the perfect scenario
To turn around and smile
And then watch you get up and go

I wish it were this easy and that everything remained the same
I wish you could just sit with me
And this heart is what you could tame

I wish you were back here with me
Then maybe my life
Would function differently

So close your eyes and let it pass
It's up to you
How long this memory will last.