Unraveled Piece by Piece

by IdTakeABulletForYou   Jan 21, 2008


Desolate heart as filled as empty could be,
Broken and still looking for the pieces;
Gluing them back on like that of a puzzle,
Incomplete and barren, though hopeful.
...Still hopeful.

Washed away with burnt romance,
Given a pill but afraid to take it.
Don't trust pills given by strangers,
Don't trust pills given by him.
Don't trust pills at all,
They'll hurt you.

Precious and delicate, maliciously harmed,
Given no way to escape yet seeking one.
What I can see is what you can't,
And what you can see is what I can't;
Together we can tell the future,
--either way it looks glum.

Someone touch the soul.
Someone touch the heart.
Reiterate the existence that has been forgotten,
Given life to the lifeless of love.
Only you, yes, only you,
Wiped away with sanity just barely holding on.

Good for you, he says she says
One time only in a parking lot.
Side conversation from the heat of the cold,
One time only cause each moment's passing
And you're dying as you speak.

I trust a pill given by a side conversation
though I don't trust the drink given to swallow the pill down with.
One persons poison is not only poison for another person,
But also a means of escape.
I need to escape,
Does it suit my fancy to down these pills?

Dare I be reminded of the burnt romance?
Yes, the one driven to the edge of the cliff from.
I think I'll down another pill,
And maybe six more along with it.

Maybe I'm not crazy, I suggest to myself.
(Only those who do not question their sanity are
actually [in]sane)
Maybe sane people would react the same?
It's only natural, isn't it,
To react to a burning heart by trying to put it out
...With pills?

Promises washed away to an island of the stranded,
Better off than I who's sanity would be fit for the stranded.
Given desperation in the disguise of hope,
Only to learn that I'm neither desperate nor hopeful,
Just foolishly in love.

Oh goodness, what have I gotten myself into?
Putting pieces where pieces don't belong,
Shoving the pieces so that at least they look okay.
Who cares about the picture?... just use all the pieces.
Nobody looks at the picture that long anyway,
Do they?

I walk down the sidewalk of misery,
Cursing the department put in charge of paving the sidewalk,
For it is more miserable each step taken.
Must I cross the street and put in danger my
sanity?

Good gracious, time saunters by when lonely,
And there's still time to spare to be more lonely.
What luck, what good spirits such a realization shall bring me!
Today, the day I figure I may as well give up puzzles altogether,
For I have not the patience nor care to complete them.

I thought that a demon was touching my soul,
Though it happened just to be a loose thread,
Which I plucked off and, ironically,
watched as the whole jacket
Unravelled
Piece
By
Piece.

copyright 2008 (stephen white)

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ABake

    Third times a charm. Anywhos I like the title and although I have read this poem fifteen times it feels like here I go again...

    First stanza: The first line was pretty confusing. I mean after I have read it multiple times it is starting to make sense in a strange out of understanding type way. Anywho, it was a great way to begin the poem and caught my attention. You also create a sense of hope with the two last lines and I liked that..

    Second stanza: I love the burnt romance line. It is an amazing comparision and I never would of thought of anything like that. Truly amazing. Also the whole pills story I liked and I think that you are using the pills as substitute for the real meaning. But...

    Third: Oh the word choice you used here was marvelous. It gives the peice an elegant and intelligant tone while still remaining easy enough to read and understand. These lines>

    What I can see is what you can't,
    And what you can see is what I can't;
    Together we can tell the future,

    Omg. I must say they are wonderful. Just amazing. They are simple with a creative twist with a mind turning line that follows. As well as the word glum in the last line which is a perfect choice for this particular peice...

    [copy and paste]

    Fourth stanza: I liked the first two lines but they are kinda point.blank. if you know what I mean. The punctuation plays a huge role in that. Maybe switch is up or something. Just a suggestion. I love the line after that though. Its deeply emotional. An amazing stanza overall.

    Fifth stanza: I love the first two lines. They hold sarcasm and in a mellow way as well. Which is perfect. Again, I loved the line about the heat of the cold. You always compare the opposites to what your actually talking about it. && oh my the last two lines. Were just amazing. They are just gawddd.

    Sixth stanza: I liked the first two lines, but I think that you could use some type of punctuation to transition into the second line. Or just capitalize the t in though. Lol. It might of been purposly done that way, or I could just be nit picking too much. Either way lovely lines. Great questioning at the end, although the lines before it were kinda on the boring side for me...

    Seventh: First thing I noticed, the amount of lines decreased. I do not think that it will mess with the flow of the overall poem. A poem of this length normally does not have large breaks. This stanza didn't quite stand out as much as the others. I'm not sure why. But I did indeed like the last line. Sarcasm is lovely...

    Eighth: Brackets. Ahh how I love brackets. An emotion kicker upper for all poems. If used right. Lol. I loved the stanza. The ... before going into the [with pills] has a huge effect. It made me read it different. A lot different that I would of. So great job with that. {Hi five}

    [copies and pastes]

    Ninth stanza: I love the first line. Purely beautiful. Although I do not quite like the repetition of stranded. It kinda threw me off the beautifulness. Lol. & oh my gosh. I love the foolishly in love line. Man. Its gorgeous. Just amazing.

    Tenth: I felt like this one, was good. And the story behind it was great but it felt rushed. Which might of been good. The flow was smooth and the question at the end really gave a feeling of hmm. Confusion or something like that. Lol. Overall, good just not amazing.

    Eleventh: Oh boy. Those first two lines are pure comedy. While still serious because I have felt this way many times your just so mad you want to complain about EVERYTHING. Lol. Great emotion and a wonderful way to portray it hun. I didn't like the cut to the word sanity. It was fast and should be something there. Idk what but yeah...

    Twelth: I like the stanza. It was simple yet relative to the whole peice.I didn't quite like the third line while the last two lines were lovely. But the punctuation in the 3rd line was great expression. Lol...

    Last stanza: FREAKINN AMAZING. Wow. What a suprise. It was awesome. Smooth flow and the last three words seperated like that were wonderful. I loved it. Overall, a wonderful peice. I loved it. 5.5

    Amber.

  • 16 years ago

    by Cliche Fairytale Ending

    Great poem. its really good better than mine

  • 16 years ago

    by This Starlight

    I understood your poem perfectly.It reminds me of how i use to be.Your poem makes me want to keep on reading it over and over.You did a fantastic job on it.: )

  • 16 years ago

    by isabel

    I find your poem absolutely amazing... It just get's me, makes me want to shout "wow"... ;)

    it was a little hard to understand, i must admit (i'm not a native speaker... but i DO have a dictionary... hehehe)

    i don't actually understand why you need to say it is not forced...it doesn't look like it...
    =))
    isabel

  • 16 years ago

    by Maxi Mutilation

    Hey! nice poem. keep it up

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