Past / Present !

I used to want to die
But what a stupid thought,
Whats the point in suicide ?
When all this time I've fought !

Even though things are tough
I'm not ready to say goodbye,
I love my friends and family to much
For me to want to die !

I can't believe I've put them through this
The pain, hurt and fear,
Maybe I'm being punished
For each and every year ?!

I've fought so long
To just give in,
But all these years
Are in the bin !

All my life
Down the drain,
But in this life
I will remain !

I'll turn my life around
Starting from today,
I'll hide all the pain
and put it away !

I'll look forward to my future
And i will plan ahead,
I don't want to die
Like I've already said !!

I'll go about my days
With my head held high,
Those days are over
The days that i cry !

Feeling grateful for life
And proud to be me,
If only i could feel that now
Then I'd already be free !