Just Look Above

She sits in her room with tears in her eyes
Staring at the headlights as cars past by
In the night, clouds gathered overhead
She just sat silently upon her bed
Her dad is yelling in drunken rage
She fights back the tears and starts to pray...

''God, he's at it again as he is every night.
I'm sick of all this, the screaming and the fights.
There's alcohol in the air along with his rage,
And I'm not sure how much more I can take.
The knife's in the drawer where it stays
But my self-restraint no longer remains.
God, make it stop before it's too late.
I'm about to end it all and it won't be a mistake.''

She stared out the window as the rain poured down
The yelling got louder but she didn't make a sound
She stared at the drawer knowing what was hidden
But she knew that suicide was forever forbidden
She closed her eyes as the tears poured down
She took a deep breath and prayed out loud...

''God, I'm begging you to please make it stop.
Do you remember me or have you forgot?
My dad's an alcoholic and fights every night.
He never wants me around or even in his sight.
I'm just a mistake that he made long ago
Or that's what I remember being told.
God, I don't want the razorblade's kiss.
Please don't let it end like this.''

She opened the drawer as her father screamed.
She was living in a nightmare that took her sweet dreams.
She was never happy anymore and he was to blame.
Her heart was filled with resentment and shame.
How could the man that called himself her father
Turn her into a scarred and cutting daughter.
She took out the knife and pulled up her sleeve
Closing her eyes as she prayed in grieve...

''God, this is it for I am letting go.
I know he loves me but he never lets it show.
My heart's in pieces and my soul is forlorn.
You have to understand why my skin must be torn.
This is the end of my so called life.
And I shall end it with this knife.''

Just before the blade started sinking in
The screaming stopped, silence again
A gentle breeze blew threw the pane
And all at once everything felt sane
She closed her eyes and heard a voice
Telling her calmly, she made a good choice...

''My child, I am with thee and I've heard your prayers
But this is just your cross to bear
Please, don't worry for you're never alone.
I shall come one day to take you home.
Just stay strong and remember my love.
I am always with you, just look above.''

Copyright-Amber Palmer