The Contradictions

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The girl I am I hide
but I wills how it to you.
On the outside I'll tell you lies.
In the end, I'll bleed the truth.
I'll say cruel things to your face.
later I'll curse myself.
I'll say repeatedly I want to die.
Inside I search for help.
Hate rings in my ears.
Love rings in my mind.
Your touch leaves me angry
but the kindness makes me cry.
Your soft words make me sick
but your hardness softens my ways.
Your smile burns my eyes
but it makes me want to stay.
Your happiness disgraces me
but your laugh makes my smile glow.
I love the way you make me feel
but I hate how you make it show.