I am a fool and some may even say I am thick ,
for yes I have a comfortable life.
I have my kids who I adore ,
and a partner who loves me and wants me to be his wife.
Thing is I am not 'in love' with him cos love hurt me in the past ,
and so with him for security and stability which I now regret.
The security and stability he gives me have been good to me ,
it's helped me to bury the love that hurt and forget.
But I have forgotten how good being 'in love' can be ,
the way it can make you feel warm inside.
When you love someone so much that nothing else matters ,
and they feel the same even loving the bits you try to hide.
Then last year love did re-enter my life ,
but now its left me feeling like a real fool.
Stupid thing is I fell in love with a guy at work ,
he said he loved me and he had a sense of humour that was pretty cool.
He made me feel like I was special and more importantly made me laugh ,
reminded me that being 'in love' feels so good after all these years.
I knew it was wrong to have feelings for another ,
and so I told my partner and it reduced him to tears.
With it all out in the open this other guy just disappeared ,
and I could not hurt my partner so I choose to stay.
But now I have had the reminder of being 'in love' its made me realise one thing ,
that security and stability are no longer enough is all I can say.
