Frozen Sunsets

by PygmyPuff   Jan 23, 2008


Look to see the frozen sunset,
Evidence and proof of the past.
Make it stop, won't you make it stop.
The golden hand shows no movement.

Listen to the shouts of others.
Look to see the frozen sunset.
Stay strong; be strong, for the little eyes.
The shadows linger, staying still.

The darkness goes on forever.
The pain keeps tingling inside.
Look to see the frozen sunset
And feel the illusion of warmth.

Again and again it repeats.
It's an everlasting cycle,
For there is no way to escape.
Look to see the frozen sunset.

-I forget the name of this form. Its a French form with 8 syllables each line, and the first line repeating as it does.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    Bravo! Excellent poem, it is very powerful and imagery is so vivid. I enjoyed in every line.
    You did fantastic job with this form, whole poem kept my attention, it is truly original and interesting. I love the way you finished and every stanza is filled with great descriptions.
    Entire piece posses some elegant tone, remarkably done!

  • 16 years ago

    by Kate Hicks

    I like this style. Octosyllabic. It has a nice flow. Have you tried Haiku?

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Deep, with superb vocab from the beginning to the end. You write amazing sad poems! I like the imagery that you created it is so intense, and you did great job with the repetition.

  • 16 years ago

    by Keith

    This is very good, maybe its abit past me cos i know the meanings deep but i cant work out exactly what it ismment bk if u hv time :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Just Sierra

    Absolutely brilliant...
    something about it just strikes me and I can't put my finger on it.
    Beautiful vocabulary btw!!!

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