Absolutely brilliant...
something about it just strikes me and I can't put my finger on it.
Beautiful vocabulary btw!!!

This is very good, maybe its abit past me cos i know the meanings deep but i cant work out exactly what it ismment bk if u hv time :)

Deep, with superb vocab from the beginning to the end. You write amazing sad poems! I like the imagery that you created it is so intense, and you did great job with the repetition.

I like this style. Octosyllabic. It has a nice flow. Have you tried Haiku?

Bravo! Excellent poem, it is very powerful and imagery is so vivid. I enjoyed in every line.
You did fantastic job with this form, whole poem kept my attention, it is truly original and interesting. I love the way you finished and every stanza is filled with great descriptions.
Entire piece posses some elegant tone, remarkably done!