She smiled as she saw the baby girl in her arms.
a healthy little beauty with eyes so big and brown.
the daddy looked so proud at the miracle he had helped create.
who knew a night of passion and love could turn into something so great.
a teddy bear was presented.
her eyes grew big with glee.
for that bear would become her lifeline to her childhood memories.
her first word was boo that she said during hide and seek.
counting was her favorite especially when she could peek.
her legs began to work and she took laps around the house.
making mommy dizzy was certainly not a doubt.
words spilled out of her mouth, some mommy could not stand.
plus her secret language never ever heard on this land.
at three her life began.
ballet took place every tuesday.
soon tap replaced ballet.
headaches were daily in the house.
jazz and tap together made her love it even more.
and the first time she got on stage she knew its where she belonged.
kindergarden started with a startle.
sent to the principals office second week.
a fight in the bathroom got out to the teacher.
a punch got her outta class for good.
first and second flew by her.
thats when sarcasm became her life.
until mommy got pregnant.
then everything changed.
excitment filled the house and baby clothes were bought.
until that day she saw grandma cry.
she realized it was too late.
her joy of being an older sister.
made her loose a part of her.
and by 4th grade she tried so hard to find herself again.
dancing helped her do it.
she was always in total control.
nothing ever mattered when she stepped on that dance floor.
middle school matured her.
she met an amazing teacher
who showed her the way of life.
and turned into a second mother.
back at home her parents fought.
she spent her nights crying.
torturing herself to the hatred.
she heard from down below.
until one day when divorce came up.
she lost herself completely.
things were thrown and tears were shed.
and yet she never knew.
that she was the reason they were still together.
and not because of real love.
dancing became her escape.
its all she ever lived for.
it became her heart, soul, and life.
8th grade graduation, she had to keep from tearing.
and when they called her name she could do nothing but smile.
leaving middle school behind she left part of her heart there too.
but she was physched for high school.
that summer changed her life.
she met someone who made her realize.
she needs to cherish life or else.
after summer she made a promise.
that school would be her top priority.
but things change when your first quiz grade is a 50.
high school brought emotions.
at school and at home.
her dads smoking became his death sentence.
a punishment all his own.
news came on night that made her mom scream and cry.
her best friend dying at the age of 49.
a week after a tradgey.
another one pursueded.
her aunt dying on that tuesday.
tears shielded her eyes.
funeral was quiet, burial was lound.
she held her cousin close as he wept without a sign.
she felt herself being drained.
lifeless and alone.
her grandmother fainting at christmas.
not knowing how much longer she has to go.
trying to keep up her outer shell.
making sure it doesn't crack.
her job is to be strong and brave.
let nothing stand in the way.
but sometimes i'm tired of putting up that feign.
im who i am because of what i did.
in my past life.
i regret nothing that made me smile.
its not worth the guilt trip.
my parents are what they are and i've learned to deal.
as i grow up i plan to take the world by storm.
i've learned that time is passing by too fast to just sit around and wait.
so i'll love like i've never been hurt.
and dance like no one's watching.
and i'm gonna live like theres no tomorrow because today could be my last day on earth.
i have my angel looking over me.
i'm a big sister in her eyes.
she lets me know everything is ok.
she loves me no matter what i say.
i've learned secrets about my parents.
secrets that make me feel shame.
but there still my parents and i love them all the same.
i'm who i am and you can't change.
the person that i will become.
or the person that i was.
or the person that i am and will become.
(yes i did write this whole poem during science class)