Hi Jason! Again this poem is very beautiful and somewhat creative, but I think it would be better as a free-verse because you have so much to say. I like the whole concept of it; and I can actually picture what you want in my mind. But, because of the shaky flow, it kind of throws me off track when reading it. Jason, I know that you have a wonderful talent hidden inside of you. Pull it out, pull me in with your writing. Captivate me and make me yearn to read more. I think you did a good job though, but I know you have better inside of you. I'll be watching for your new poem. : )

Keep up the good work.

Letty

There are many of us that want that true friend ,good work ,keep it up.