Hey, thanks for your comment. I tend to only return what I'm given, but I thought I'd let you know that grammar is much more important than you think. People think it's about the words and not the spelling, and as true as that may be - grammar averts the eyes, and distracts the reader. This means your reader is detached from your writing. That, isn't a good thing. So, my only suggestion is to check your grammar and spelling. Fix the 'i's to "I"s and far 'to' long to 'too' long... Anything else I'm sure you'll pick up.
Other than that you show some great potential. Keep it up :)