I think its good so far I hope you keep up the good work A.J.

Remember 1 for 3

So far so good.. i sent you a message.. so ya.. do mine =]

Wow this is really good so far. i like how its like a story. definately keep going. hopefully u will get the flow back in your mind soon. 5/5

I love it so far!! i think you've really got something, good luck with the ending!!

Gosh.. i was emotionally reading this piece! the story was really interesting... it was truly well expressed and very captivated. u had really portrayed the story very well.. just keep it up and well done 5/5

Ok ok i feel where u r comin from on this one i like it....:)

Dang this is really deep!!!! You have excellent word play in all your poems. I wish I could make my poems flow as good as yours and the analogies you use are awesome. Keep up the excellent work.

WOW. This was amazing. The flow of this was pretty good, a little rocky in a few areas, but still very good. Your rhyming technique, and word usage were spectacular.
Although i didnt like in the first stanza how there were quotation marks around "confused" and "abused"
Maybe, since you are refferring to them as people, capitolize the first letter
so it would be
Confused
and
Abused
like their names. just a suggestion.

I can't wait for part 2!!!
5/5

Heah what happened? I really didn't want it to end. great job loved it. 5/5

I luv this one, you need to get on ya grind and go head and make part 2 cause u drivin crazy here lol..keep up the good work gurl

ps. i still like yo intellectual conpasity

Really great work i love the emotion you put into it

Waw so nice i realy love to read a story in this way, great jop 5/5

This is really good. I'm now looking forward to part 2. lol.
It was a little confusing and disjointed I think, but it was really beautiful, and very captivating to read. The rhyming seemed a little forced, but it still was a gorgeous poem.
5/5
~gabriella

Gahh, I want to know what's happened! I like that I really got into this poem. It was a bit like when reading a novel, when you really get into it and don't want to put it down.

Next part soon, please! :D

Haha, well done.

Very Very Good!

Waiting!

K~

Beautifully written.
i love the metaphors you used.
wonderful.
I am looking forward to a part 2!

T___T
It was really sad..
And I can't wait what's next!!
Good Job!!

A little effy in a few places, but a good flow and a nice poem.
metaphors good, imagery too.

it was a story well told, full of emotion.

its very good. :] keep up writing

So far..So good
i liked the way you've carried on the poem....waiting for the rest of it....heartfelt storyish write!...
keep going!
Luv
Pooja