Prevaricator

Wish I was a prevaricator, so I can tell you about your letters
that they are gone-- erased-- out of my mind forever.
And your pictures?
not in my bureau, somewhere I don't know...
not a sign of you, not a retention, not a single glow...

I want to be a prevaricator, so I can look you in the eye and say:
you're in my beingness no longer tonight.
That I despise you like no other,
and you don't possess my dreams
to become a distraction during the day...
That I won't fall dispirited for you, 'cause I've broken you away.

If only I was a prevaricator,
I'd say "I don't care" till you believe it,
I'd say "fukk you" like I mean it...
And I'd say-- if you descended from the blue
out of the nothingness, as of my dreams you're making a sweet return?
Almost vacuously at your presence-- that I've put your picture to burn...