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by Poetic Ninja aka Papachopchop Jan 26, 2008 category : Life, society / inspirational
Abandoning my comfort zone, Seeking out my emotions, I see the light on the horizon, Lit by your devotion. A beacon in the darkness, A bon fire in the night, You lit a fire in my soul, That burns so very bright. Quickly all my senses, Abandon their defenses, This world that I enter, Holds only sweet surrender, Yet I silently yearn, For the light that I see These feelings I have, Now secretly possessed me, So tell why do I fight, This bliss that awaits, When I feel so many things, I can almost taste. I guess the greatest war, I have now to fight, Will be myself, Lest I be stuck in this endless night.
by Teria
Amazing baby. It's like perfect : " Quickly all my senses, Abandon their defenses, This world that I enter, Holds only sweet surrender," Amazing lines.This line though : " That I can almost taste." Well it goes great with the poem, but it kind of threw me off, eh. But, that line does go with the poem, mentioning it was a bit off. BUT, Maybe if you took out the word " that " to help it? Idk. Maybe it's just meBUt, amazing job baby