Life - Rough

by sibyllene   Jan 26, 2008


Sometime I'll be
getting high, off
God, books, love or weed I
seek to delve
my body
mind
spirit

Because

I feel
LIFE
pressing hot and vital on my
gut, squeezing on my lungs,
throttling my heart
LIFE
felt like a tight grip
like a bubble of hilarity
like
a spontaneous cartwheel (too full to be so linear)
but more

like
diving
headlong
into a cool pool

but most

like
the blessed, instinctual
gasp
upon resurfacing

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow...
    Deep and filled with emotions from the beginning to the end, so brilliant and powerful. I love your writing style- your pieces always touch me and leave me in awe and this one is not an exception.
    I like the ending a lot and the capitalization of the word "life" is very effective.

  • 16 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Yep.

  • 16 years ago

    by silvershoes

    "Sometime I'll be
    getting high, off
    God, books, love or weed I
    seek to delve"

    Excellent intro, by the way...Heh. I especially like that with the playful rhyme of 'high' and 'I,' instead of choosing 'dive' (a near rhyme), you chose 'delve.' Really like that.

  • 16 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Great rhythm! I can vividly picture an animated vocal production of this poem, heh. Reads a bit like a haiku (disregarding the 5,7,5 meter), with the sing-song feel, mid-sentence breaks, and overall feel. I like the topic, but mostly the various emphases (correct plural? Ha!), and rapid, pretty original imagery. Great stuff.

    I love how you write :)

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