Wow, this is truely dark ((as why its in the dark & fantasy lol)) Very deep in emotions & your choice of words really brought out imagery & details!! Nice job!!

Keep it up =n= take care!

What a beautifully unique title! Each word held such an immense amount of meaning that I read slow through it so I would not miss a thing. Flawless. You told a haunting story that had me captivated from beginning to end. Beautiful. The imagery was outstanding and the emotions were deep. Flawless flow and a mind blowing piece. Well done *5/5*

Again i thought this was pretty amazing, but in the first stanza you use the word "neck" way to much, but it was still very good, i like the portayl of like your inner self verses him, it was very good and likable. Amazing, wording was great, again another well deserved 5/5

Wow, wow...
I simply adore this piece. I read it two times by now and I feel like I can read it over and over again. Truly amazing poem, with stunning imagery intertwined with atmosphere of deep darkness. I can't find anything to critique here, I simply like every line. Very haunting piece, with excellent choice of words.
Brilliantly done.

Okay, I think I'll just say that I adore ALL of your titles so I don't have the urge to repeat myself every time I read one of your pieces? [:

So, here goes:
I loved this piece more than the one I read before this--and I LOVED that one. This one was just so... awe-inspiring (I am so tempted to just use the words gorgeous, beautiful, brilliant and breathtaking over + over again xD).

"Dance with me" He whispered, draping a cloak around my neck,
`A mysterious beginning -- really drew me in. How he "whispers" what sonuds like an affection-filled few words, but he "drapes a cloak" which gives me this vision of him blinding her from the truth--whatever that may be.

Slowly my eyes became bloodshot raped by his intoxicating smell,
`Sigh. Such a powerful line. The use of "raped" -- typically when I read a poem with the words "his intoxicating smell," it's something about a lover that's missed, or of beautiful memories, but this, is just WHAM. Weird expression, forgive it, but I'm currently at a loss for words.

Sweet letters of my consciousness biting frantically at tense veins..
`The personification here...Oh, can I just say I worship your words?

"Walk away from him" She demanded, White lights flickering in my mind,
`The white lights bring death to mind, how she says to walk away from him -- he's a danger, is what I get the feeling of, but he's like this divine temptation for demise.

"Don't listen to her" He hushed, Swinging my body into sweet embrace,
`How strongly these opposing people are going against each other is so beautifully written by you. Powerful words, yet they're so simple. The girl comes off more demanding and aggressive, but the guy sounds like the bigger threat -- tho he comes off as so much gentler.

"Choose me" he quietly murmurs whilst pushing me further off the fringe.

"Step off the ledge" She screams, rushing forward with feathered wings,
"Fly with me" He laughs, Now wrapping warm arms around my waist,
"No" She finally gasps, Grasping her hand to hollow beating chest,
As suddenly I begin to fall, Giving in to my consciousness of this regret.
`Gorgeous ending. I can't even begin to explain the thoughts and interpretations of this piece that are running through my head. I don't know what to say -- it's just a lingering masterpiece that I want to read over and over again.

--..MiNDYY