Loaded Words and Loaded Friends [Triquatrain]

by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG   Jan 29, 2008


At the count of three we`ll hold our breath, fight this down to the death;
Let the gunpowder rise and the tears dry so that we can see:
Loaded words and loaded friends, they`re loaded guns to our heads;
And I let your excuses take down the very best of me.

Through tired eyes it`s hard to see, the people we used to be;
So innocent and carefree, we hadn`t met the world yet,
But people come and people go, it`s a fact that we all know;
Unwilling to risk your unscathed back, you put me out like a cigarette.

High as hell I look to a picture carefully framed, a memory left unnamed;
But the smoke will clear and my head will pound,
Actions come with consequences I know, so I`ll be the first to go;
Because you couldn`t accept the real person that you found.

The roads we`ve walked on, they`re tainted with the blood we`ve drawn;
We took it all in vain, throwing fuel on this fire,
But I`m not ashamed of who I`ve become, you win some and you lose some;
And I`d rather lose a friend than win a liar.

-Jenna Elphick
January 28, 2008

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The Triquatrain form was created by Robert L. Huntsman. It is a quatrain poem in tri-rhyme
where lines 1 and 3 have internal rhyme and lines 2
and 4 do not.
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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    I'll start with the bad. The ending [last line mostly] was a bit off, with the whole flow thing. Actually, as I look back it's only the last line. It fits in perfectly, but it just doesn't flow, maybe a few extra syllables. . .somehow?

    My favorite part was this :

    " Through tired eyes it`s hard to see, the people we used to be;
    So innocent and carefree, we hadn`t met the world yet,
    But people come and people go, it`s a fact that we all know;
    Unwilling to risk your unscathed back, you put me out like a cigarette"

    Amazing stanza that is.
    The entire poem is great.
    You have great meaning, easy to relate to.
    I mean the entire thing was almost flawless.

    5/5
    xD
    Keep it up, darling.