I had a blind date with Helen Keller,
She couldn't see me, she's blind.
It was humorous alright,
She's famous for fighting the good fight.
She read a poem to me in braille
And then she gave me a lame excuse to touch me where it counts
She said that was her only way to see me.
She called me a dirty Nazi and then said "goodbye",
She had stepped on my toes and I was ready to die.
We had gone to her charity house and donated braille plastic,
She slapped my face and said " I'm an artist, I don't need a reason".
We went to Russia and committed treason just to save a few blind men,
But some of them were deaf you know? Thats not fair to the rest.
There was a priest in Russia and he laughed while we stumbled,
He was sure to point out how bad we looked coupled.
Helen Keller in my arm, she could have crumbled if not for me,
I guided her mysteriously.
I was not sure of where to go, but I saw a hole in the darkness and asked Helen where to move next,
As I looked that way, ahead, Helen said " No I don't see, I'm blind
you jerk" and slapped me in the face again.
So I took my questions back and walked blindly toward the end.
We reached the space and fell deep down the staircase,
It was treason in the state to be blind and on a date.
So we hurried to get up and walk astray to die in chains and wish we weren't born,
But the Russians don't kill the blind since 1984
They just tickle them and show them scatology porn.
Helen couldn't see it but surely she could hear it in her head,
And the sounds she heard made her picture all the pain.
When the movie was done we sat there, looking forward to the future,
We'd return back to America and decide to part ways.
"You're not my type, you're blind to my pain", I said,
She stood there and pointed at her eyes
I said " Oh sorry I forgot about that. "
