I've been thinkin about the loss of my son
His name was jaylen jerimiah smith
I wanted him so badly
I was hurt im still hurt I can still hear the DR tellin me he was just to tiny
After I pushed him out which hurt like hell
I looked at him he was so tiny .........
As he laid in the machine next to me
I could hear the heart monitor
Beep beep beep
I was happy
I thought he would pull through
I remember tellin him
So u were the little guy vibrating inside of me
He was to tiny so it wasn't really a kick
I remember smiling at him
Then the DR took him away
Came back later and told me he didn't make it
I broke down in tears
Screamin no not my baby
I remember feeling so bad and yea I blamed myself
I thought it was becuz of the stress I know that didn't help
Then all I wanted is for his father to be there too
But he didn't care he had to much to do
So there I was in the hospital all alone
Cryin myself to sleep with no shoulder to cry on
I still cry sometimes it hurts on the inside
I look at little jaylens picture and wonder what he would look like
Would he have my big green eyes
Or his dads brown eyes
Would he have my skin tone
It wouldn't matter I just wanted to take him home
Im cryin right now its at 10:58 pm
Thinkin bout my son
He would be 2 years old right now
Walkin and talkin
I love you jaylen
