Finally In Love.

by Richelle   Jan 30, 2008


Through all the times I have been through,
You have always been at my side.
You've always been there to hold my hand,
You lifted my spirits when they died.

Every single time I see you,
I go into a daze.
I look into your beautiful eyes,
And I can't look away.

You always seem to make me smile,
You always seem to care.
You can't ever be not interested,
In what I have to share.

We can talk about anything,
And we always can have a great time.
We express our love for each other in wonderful ways,
Who ever said that was a crime?

You hold onto me ever so tightly,
You let me know your love is true.
And I can't ever seem to doubt it.
Because I have fallen deeply in love with you.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Letty

    Hi Richelle! This is pretty good. I liked the concept and the beautiful picture that you painted in some of your stanza's. This piece could use a little work though. Some of the words need to be changed or reworded; but the punctuation and grammar looks OK. The first stanza would be a great example to explain what I mean.

    Here is what you wrote:

    Through all the times I have been through,
    You have always been at my side.
    You've always been there to hold my hand,
    You lifted my spirits when they died.

    Now read that stanza above again out loud and see if you can point out what needs to be fixed.

    The word "Times" should have been "Things"; doesn't that sound better? It's a good start, but it can be a strong start:

    Through all the things that I been through,
    You have always been by my side.
    You've always been there to hold my hand,
    Resurrected my spirit when it died.

    You don't have to use my words; you can put in the words that you think fits best. I think this poem is indeed very beautiful. I also think they it can be magnificent with the right editing. You have a wonderful talent Richelle; Just take a little time and use some of the club resources to help you advance. I look forward to reading more of your work. You are what I call the beginning of a perfect artist. Good luck on your journey of learning!

    Letty

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