Comments : I Love You - For Always.

  • 16 years ago

    by Katie

    Very good poem.
    I love your images like:
    "Our love is a major threat,
    Our bodies are an eclipse"
    Also, I love how you seemed to personify your feelings:
    "You're the feeling that I get,
    When I approach your lips"
    It me that implys that your excitement is your love and your love is excitement.
    The entire piece is procative and general.

    All I suggest is that you improve your flow by omitting certain words make it falter, such as that in the first line of the second stanza, right which is in the second line of the second stanza, genuinely, I in the second line of the third stanza, I'm, to in the last line of the third stanza, and for sure.
    It's still a great poem though, 5/5.