Did you know that I secretly cry and tear myself to shreds every night?
did you know that behind my seemingly warm happy eyes lies a broken innocent, ravaged by many sinful hands?
did you know that I loathe you for disposing and abandoning me in this forsaken hell?
did you know that I bleed for you, that I dwell in this eternal pain for you, that you bind me to this duty?
did you know that you intertwined you and I and left me to take care of our withering souls?
did you know that for every smile I forcefully press against my face a slit is placed upon my delicate skin?
did you know that everyday you kill apart of who I am, that every time you scream at my wrenching, contorting face I grow number?
do you even know that I exist anymore?
do you know that for every word you say it pierces my heart and I grow closer to my death?
do you even care that you have started my reckoning?
did you even know or acknowledge when I crept upstairs and locked my door, when I slowly consumed the various jagged white little pills, then I pierced my wrist with the oh so familiar razor?
did you know that I did that to escape you because it was the only absolute solution?
do you realize that even as I lay in the plain plush cushions on my final bed with an expressionless face, I still hold nothing but contempt for you?
do you finally understand cursed life you burdened on my fragile shoulders? I don't think you do, you will never understand...will you?
