Comments : Tempting... An Angel?

  • 16 years ago

    by Lets Keep it A Surprise

    Another great piece, you really are a very talented writer :)

    The last stanza is definitely my favorite, and though I found some parts a bit choppy in flow, that could have just been the way I read it.

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by HidinVictim

    I LOVE IT!!! the first stanza was good, but the second stanza was great, and kind of funny too, this was a really clever subject, and the whole piece was really original... GREAT WORK... 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Lovely rhyme here jade this poem was so raw and full of passion i loved it one of your best by far keep it up

  • 16 years ago

    by ether

    This doesn't really do much for me, perhaps because the words in this are a little too simple? They don't create enough visuals that dark poems usually have. Perhaps in future be wary of that.

    I did like the idea of tempting an angel, the title pulled me into this poem because it made me want to see what the content is written on, so good title.

    I would change lines like
    "I'll burst your bubble now"
    It's more of everyday talk, not very image creating or thought provoking at all.

    However your theme is still very solid, so I'll give this one a 4/5.

    jess ~