Friend in life(dedicated to Ebony)

by Angel   Feb 2, 2008


As i try and figure out my life
People just pass by and play around
But then you came and changed that
You decided to show me the meaning of a true friend
you choose to make me smile
told me to have fun
You said"forget about her and move on,
you don't need the stress just grow up"
I matured cause of you
And I will always love you for that
You my chocolate chip cookie
Without you I don't know where I'll be

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  • 16 years ago

    by Letty

    This was a very nice poem. The only advice I have for you is to not use the word "you" so much. In some of the lines you don't even need it to make the poem flow. The repetition of it actually throws off the flow. I also suggest capitalizing the single I in the first line; and add punctuation. After you complete your editing this will be great. I look forward to reading more of your work. Keep writing.

    Letty

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