Held~

Held~

I've spent to many days, my head resting in my hands.
Long nights wondering who could love this man.
I took pills to numb the pain today,
but hurt like this is slow to go away.

I long to feel your arms around me.
With your warm caress I'm over my head.
I need to scream the words we all fear.
When it's quite those words we all hear.

So clear they speak my name.
Forever I'm held in there game.
For so long I've dreamed of this day.
Hold me now, please stay.

No more to spend the darkness alone.
Time for me to have you as my own.
I remember the moment you entered this heart.
Fearful I'd forget how to start.

I have held you but it's been far to long.
Is it because I've done so much wrong?
You've held on where others would have run.
I fear all my wrongs can't be undone.

To go back in time would change so much hurt.
Sometimes I cry when I think of the dirt.
The dirt I threw in your face without a second thought.
Sitting, shocked that we're far form knot.

I'm thankful for you even though I'm insensitive.
But I'm here tonight on my knee's repetitive.
Your brought on affliction haunts me at the strangest of times.
Desperate that the haunting leaves me with these rhymes.

But I know that is just a dream.
I know that in the middle of the night my guilt is going to scream.
It will shout at me inflamed bitterness.
I will tell myself that I'm powerless.

Powerless to stop the feeding disgust of my lies.
But we all know the powerless is just a disguise.
A way of not seeing the terrible truth of it all.
That my choices and actions have brought on all my fall.