Deadly Night

Deadly silence ringing in my ears
As I think about my fears
Darkness so consuming and so inviting
My bleeding wrists I just keep biting
Because my life just isn't worth the jab
My emotions just keep taking every stab
And I'm tired of living in this vicious chain
When there's nothing in this world left to gain
Horrible nightmare with eyes closed or open
Doesn't matter when its my tears I soak in
Death is the blessing that calls for me
Telling me I'm in hell already
In my heart I will confide
That in my mind I love suicide
But my limbs will lock every time I try
To kill myself and just die
So I ask some else to just help me out
Don't just sit there and give me a shout
Take a gun and put a bullet in my head
Shoot me again to make sure I'm dead
Let me fade away into darkness
After I write my letter for forgiveness
For my lack of power to just keep going
But I couldn't keep up with social flowing
I couldn't catch up when love ran away
And there was no way for me to be happy or gay
This may sound a little fatalistic
Try living in my world and you'd go ballistic
I can't deal with my present, future or past
And my life is just moving way too fast
Maybe to you this makes no sense
I can't expect you to understand why I'm so tense
Still its true that I have to die
So I'll get some rope and a knot I'll tie
And when the moment comes I'll sigh
Jumping from my stool I'll cry
I'm sorry this had to be good bye
Maybe I'll see you in another life