Very creative Jeff. The structure of this piece if quite unique. I have not read one like this before. The imagery is vivid as hell and intense. I could almost hear a nervous heart beating. I thought it was great.

Wow...

Its all I can say. I have never before seen such a poem.
Thanks For The Suspensful Read <3

576/5

-ally

Wow...
This is amazing, different from anything I've read before. It is absolutely brilliant from the first to the last line, so creative and original. The atmosphere of the poem is intense and effective and your superb descriptions created so vivid and realistic images in my mind. Excellently done. This is one of the best dark poems I've read in a while.
Keep writing, you have a way with words!

You write as if you are in the persons position

great poem