A fairytale ?!

by Nawa   Feb 6, 2008


The sun has faded allowing the darkness to appear
Erasing the clarity
And making place for the moon to lit our gloomy sky
While the stars danced on a love song
Sang by petite amour birds
Who lain in hearts as statues of adoration and devotion
Roses with perfect odors cleansed the atmosphere
Creating a more magical scene
The night simply seemed perfect and flawless
But does perfection exist beyond our hearts?!
Perfection lies in the eye of the beholder
In the cores of lovers and soul mates
Who are also parts of this fairy tale
Where the prince and princess lives happily ever after
In their own magical castle flying within the clouds
It all has to do with faith and magic
This enchanted almost true vision
The belief and power to dream and desire the impossible
To have no fear just thinking of fantasy
Allowing your mind to form its own reality
Abolishing the tears and cries
The screams and worries
Burying them in a deep locked corner
Where they can be unheard and seen
The gift to see the charm of this life
And what is it all about ?!
Allowing your senses to serve your heart's desire
With ignorance of what lies in the shades
The truth we speak of is nothing but lies of what our world has become
The honour of being a unique individual is a crime that no one accepts you for
But all of this disappears when you believe
When you awaken in a dream called honesty and live in your own world with people you admire the most
And that is my dream but do people really think of these conflictions anymore?!
Or is all that fills our minds is the fear and cries
The wars and fights?
Did we forget how to smile or how to live in peace?
Or Is it just a phenomenon that people no longer acknowledge?!

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Rachel

    Since I'm really into technical stuff, I'll start with that first. And don't let anything I say offend you, I'm just a nerd, and these aren't really suggestions, just comments. :D

    First off, "making place for the moon to lit our gloomy sky." Do you happen to mean 'light,' here, or is that just me? Sorry if I have misunderstood. :)

    Secondly, the french word 'amour' is masculin in the singular form and feminin in the plural form. So you can have 'petites amour' birds or 'petit amour' birds.

    "Who lain in hearts..." Is this a mistype? Should it be 'laid?' If not, please explain it to me. And I'm not being cheeky, I am genuine, promise.

    "prince and princess lives;" grammatically, this should be 'live.'

    "enchanted almost true vision" hyphen between 'almost' and 'true?' Or have you conciously chosen to discard the hyphen as a form of punctuation?

    "Or is all that fills our minds is the fear and cries" second 'is' is slightly redundant, unless it is intended for poetic licence.

    I hope that you don't hate me and are still reading this. :S

    I like the disregard of punctuation, other than to question/exclaim, and though the grammatic in me wants to stick in some commas, as long as you know where to pause, it flows beautifully.

    "It all has to do with faith and magic." This is my favorite line by far, because I think that it summarizes the whole poem, to tell you the truth. It is a connecting factor that links together shattered beauty, and I love it. The truth behind those lines is very controversial in that our modern society "is nothing but lies", and I applaud you for just coming out and saying it.

    Your questions are deep, and I think that they are well-placed, because it causes the poem to gain momentum as it progresses, before causing the reader to plummet off the face of a cliff at the very end.

    I hope that my review is worth something.

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