Gotta hold it in

A simple comment
a quick wave good-bye
a smile that is deadly
that strikes when i'm trying so hard not to lie

every moment is painful
when i don't get a chance to talk
every time we don't talk
i regret it all my life

i really wish i haven courage
so i wouldn't break down so easily
so i could go on this path
and never let you know the truth

but each day i'm losing a bit of myself
my inner soul feels like it's burning
my mind seems like it's cracking into pieces
this quiet and hidden mystery is killing me

i try to forget you hard
i try to think of other things that keeps me away
but when ever you call me or aim me
my strong will just shatter right on the spot

each day i wonder
if you will call me now?
or will you call me later?
i want to talk to you

but as a friend
and maybe as a secret lover
but for now i want you to be happy
so i gotta hold it all in till the end
till i finally have the courage to tell you how i feel