"Always remember...when down and depressed, think of daffodils and hamburger juice."

"I am a bleep lost on the radar screen. I am a loser because I am that bleep. But I shall always remain not only the loser bleep, but a proud loser bleep constantly being hunted down by other bleeps."

"When in a hostage situation, always ask for a purple penguin."

"I am the minority of fashion and popularity."

"Never, ever eat the yellow snow; It's not lemon or banana flavored!"

"If one bad thing happens in your life, then so be it. If two bad things happen in your life, then suck it up. If three bad things happen ign your life, then you're out of luck because three strikes and your out!"

"Last night, I closed my brown eyes and clasped my trembling hands beneath my chin and realized that no matter what I do, I can never win at life."

"To reach the sky, you just might need the help of that special someone; your best friend. Always keep them by your side and they will help you achieve your life goals, no matter the disance from the ground it is."

"Remember, comiting suicide takes away your future wings."

"Having no remorse maeans raising your chances of having a fuller, more exciting life than before."