Slit my throat,
And slice my wrists,
I don't want to live my life

Would a black man ever become president?

They said "only when pigs fly"

100 days in to Obama's presidency...

Swine Flu

If an eaglet is a small eagel then...
Is a chicklet a small chicken,
Is a small toy a toylet (toilet)?

These are all jokelets...

lol

-Caroline Rhea on Hollywood Squares

I don't care how old, or how badass you think you are, when a toddler hands you a play phone, you're going to answer it

Raymond hands Robert a bra...

Robert: What's this for?

Raymond: You're a boob.

-Everybody Loves Raymond

You're an idiot wrapped in a moron.

-Everybody Loves Raymond

I missed you yesterday,
I miss you today,
I'll miss you tomorrow.
I'll miss you forever until the day we are together and no longer apart.

I love you with everything I am,
And everything I am is because of you.

Knowing a sitution is going to go bad doesnt make it sting any less when it does. :/

-My friend's message on hiz AIM, but nonetheless true.

Girl: My duck can do something special

Teacher: What?

Girl: My duck can lay an egg

Teacher: Oh that's not special

Girl: Can YOU lay an egg

Teacher *confused look on face*