"I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died"

"A repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)"

"Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright! "

"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose"

"Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle"

"Inside this body lies that of a skinny lady. But I can usually shut her up with chocolate"

"The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept"

"GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A BLONDE"

sorry to all the blondes out there, im blonde too

"Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge"

"Fight Crime: Shoot Back!"