How can i fix all my mistakes if there are to many to count and i cant even remeber them all

Im always fallng
he always catches me
and your usually that one
pushing me over

I know that I mess up alot
But you make my mistakes seem worse
but im sure im to blame for that too
sorry i tried to make it your fault

If your suppose to love me
why does it seem you couldnt care less

As much as i say your opion doesnt mean anything to me
In reality the truth is it means everything

Why is that even your HELLO’s can break my heart or make me feel like im flying is it because I hold them to high in meaning

I cut to remember I cut to forget I cut to punish and show my regret to know im real and still alive to remind myself at anytime i could die

Every time I see you a tare is made in my heart but at the same time another tare is being heeled

Every smile a lie
Every tear a truth
hold mi emotions
and show no truth nor lie

I have cuts on my tounge
from all the things i wanted to say
BUT DIDNT