Drive the car like you stole it grandma... geez!

I didn't lose my marbles... I sold them on e-bay!

Nobody is perfect. I am nobody therefore I AM PERFECT!

I tried to sniff coke... but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose!

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast and the mime next door went nuts!

Due to recent cut backs, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice.
Thank You

If a penny was really lucky it wouldn't have been dropped in the first place!

If I called the wrong number why did you answer?!?!

There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray that the light at the end of your tunnel isn't a train!

Last night I looked up at the stars and wondered "Where in the heck is my ceiling?"