I didn't know someone could catch on so slowly

I know I'm not all that great, but I sure do think I am.

They say your prince will come but mine took a wrong turn, drove into a ditch, got to a gas station but was too stubborn to ask for directions.

Did you say she was your one night stand or your one nightstand? Cause nightstands stay by your bedside way too long for me to be your girlfriend.

I'm sure I have a favorite quote, I'm just too stupid to write it down.

What am I suppose to think about you? You are the worst person in the world to my best friend. You seem nice to me. You confuse me on purpose. You make me laugh. You ignore me. Yet I still can't get over you.

They say roses are red and violets are blue but in my world roses are green and violets are orange and just because my flowers are different doesn't mean you can judge me.

Congratulations goes to all the women who worked very hard to get that perfect body they wanted. Full respect goes to all those women who worked very hard to get that perfect body they wanted and then dressed with respect for themselves.

Wonderful, all my grandparents are just fine and my cats are senile.

I'm not obsessed, just fascinated.