I'm proud. I did my morning excersises today. Up and down, up and down. and then I did the other eyelid.

If you want me to respect the fact you are Christian, you'll have to accept I'm an Aethist. It's not a crime to find it impossible to believe in a man who was really a God, whose mum was a virgin. - George Mikes, How to be God.

Why does the bible condemn homosexuality and girls on periods but whole-heartedly encourage slavery?

If God had enough money, he would have made America perfect.- A rather simple-minded American hat-seller who was interviewed by a rather stunned George Mikes.

Well I'd love to say the truth and say I'm not going out with her, but it would be SUCH a shame to stop the rumour going. - The wonderful Katie!

If you're going to send a voicemail to my house phone with a suicide note, could you at least have the common courtesy not to do it at midnight?

Try this!
Flash spray with bleach
Flash spray with bleach
Flash spray with bleach
Flash spray with bleach
Flash spray with bleach
Flash spray with bleach

hard isn't it?

Whose stupid idea was it to put talcum powder on a dog who shakes him self continously?!

How 2 get ur parents 2 worry
1 Roll by a windowsill imitating a fly
2 Repeatedly flick a switch. when ur parents ask u what ur doin, say Oh I get it!
3 Tell ur mum that she looks like ur mum.
4 Watch TV when its off and sit upsidedown.

If swimmings so good for you, how do you explain whales?