Dear Diary,
Today I finally feel all of which I've hid away...

I wake up everyday to voices in my head
Telling me to stop and take a look ahead...

I wake up everyday to the loneliness in my heart
I go to sleep every night praying I don't fall...

I hide behind my smile
It's been quite a while...

I thought it was a dream
I just wanted to scream...

Today I finally turned twenty one
And I know my problems only begun...

The very first time that I saw your face
I tried to stop, my heart began to race...

I have given you the curse of gold
I have given you my love to hold...

No matter which way I turn,
I just don't seem to learn...

It feels just like yesterday when I saw your face
The way you looked at me with such disgrace...

Where did you go? Why, did you know?
What can I say? Why must I pray...

***This poem I wrote right after my grandmother...
I constantly replay that day in my head...