We didn't invite you. Our car was full, then you'd have to take your own, and then you'd want someone to ride with you. "Who wants to ride with her...?"
..."No one!"
So yeah, it's just better that you didn't go... :)

"Bubbly"
by: Colbie Calait

The orgasm song!

So apparently we're all going to hell...

.....my bad. :)

Austin at Karate:
"Domo-arigato"
(whispers) Mr. Roboto

I don't say that aloud.
I'm afraid they'll kick me.

"You know what? My life long dream is to move to New Orleans and play the triangle for a garage band, at a bar, for free drinks."

-My boss (the owner of a newspaper)

Austin at Karate:
"Domo-arigato"
(whispers) Mr. Roboto

I don't say that aloud.
I'm afraid they'll kick me.

The greatest part about making people think that you're crazy is how hard you get to laugh when they don't know you're kidding...

To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times
the speed of sound.

At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.

Isn't that a foil problem?

No.

Oh.

'cause it screams foil.

Hey Bob? Next summer, lets sell lemonade...like everybody else.

Good idea, Larry.