"Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."

~anonymous

"Why must I always 'concentrate' on the orange juice bottle?"

~anonymous

"Horn if you're honky!"

~a bumper sticker

"When life hands you lemons you should make lemonade. Then find a guy whose life is giving them vodka, and have a pary."

~Ron White

"When life hands you lemons, use them to squirt the juice in to the eyes of your enemies."

~Happy Bunny

"When life hands you lemons say, 'Oh yeah I like lemons. What else you got?'"

~my friend Brittany

"Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants to kiss her- when 9 times out of 10 she only wants him to want to kiss her?"

~Helen Rowland

"Now I know the things the things I know, and do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!"

~Dorothy Parker

"The face in the mirror of the mind, and eyes whithout speaking confess the secerets of the heart."

~Saint Jerome

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words have become superfluous."

~Ingrid Bergman